Cloverhill Counselling Services Chesham  2014 - 2017 © - Website by Web Design Chesham

Mob: 07968966168

Welcome to Cloverhill Counselling Services Based in Chesham Buckinghamshire.

British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy Qualified practitioner providing professional, affordable counselling in a safe, confidential & non judgemental environment.


If you are experiencing emotional or psychological difficulties in any of the following areas or you feel like you would just like to talk to someone please contact me today for your free initial consultation.


Cloverhill Counselling Services Chesham in an Integrative therapy service that practices psychodynamic approaches, cognitive behavioural therapy, transactional analysis, the person centred approach and draws upon Gestalt theories.


The Integrative approach enables the client to draw from a wide variety of theories that can be tailored to the individual.  For example, the psychodynamic approach will draw upon the early experiences of the client and how these early experiences have an impact on the here and now.  CBT will help the client to look at thought processes which will affect emotion which will in turn impact on the client’s behaviour and Transactional analysis is a great way of exploring the client’s communication style and ways of relating to others and patterns of relationships.

Low Self Worth:

Self- worth comes from a life time of messages and experiences. How these messages and experiences are perceived will determine our self- worth. If the messages we receive from others and the experiences we go through are generally positive then our self- worth will be at a healthy level. However if these messages and experiences are negative then our self- worth can be compromised. Negative messages about ourselves usually come from others, for example, not meeting our parents standards, enduring others stress and anger, the absence of encouragement and praise, under achieving at school or suffering neglect or abuse. The great news is these are just opinions of others, they are not statements or facts and sometimes they are just our perceptions of what others think. Achieving a healthy self- worth is about re- writing  these messages and beliefs and setting boundaries around others. The therapy process is a great way of identifying patterns of thinking and  thought  process which will enable us to start to feel good about ourselves.


Relationship Issues:


Relationships are a vital part of our lives, whether it  be intimate relationships or the relationships we have with our friends, our families or our children. Humans need relationships to survive and although they can bring us joy and happiness they can also be very hard at times. We learn very early on in life how to adapt to and interact with those around us.  If we experience healthy, boundaried and loving relationships then we tend to grow up and develop healthy relationships with others. If however we experience dysfunctional relationships where there are ridged boundaries or no boundaries at all, if we suffer emotional abuse, if we do not know how to get our needs met in a relationship then our ways of relating can become strained and our relationships can be exhausting and we may become unhappy. Counselling is a good way to start exploring our relationship patterns, our communication styles and our ways of relating to others. Once we recognise our patterns and emotions around relationships we can begin to change.


Addiction/Drug & Alcohol Abuse:

Addiction or addictive behaviour can come in many forms. Addictive behaviour is a pattern of behaviour that we repeatedly or compulsively do even though it is harmful to us. Whether it be drug and alcohol abuse, gambling, internet addiction, sex addiction, spending, OCD, self- harm, over eating or under eating, the patterns of behaviour are always to try to eliminate emotional discomfort. We call this elimination process a defence mechanism. Defence mechanisms can be helpful to us until they become compulsive and begin to ruin our lives, our relationships and our self -worth. Stopping the addictive behaviour can only be achieved if we replace the unhealthy defence mechanism with healthy ways of coping so that the emotional discomfort is reduced. The first step, which is always the hardest  is admitting that the addictive behaviour has made our lives unmanageable. Counselling can help give us a safe environment to explore behaviours and emotions and look at alternative healthy coping strategies.

Postnatal Depression:

Postnatal depression is an illness that can affect any mother usually within one to two months of giving birth. The symptoms may include feeling unhappy, tearful, irritable, angry, tired, anxious and depressed. You may also have trouble sleeping, have changes in appetite, have negative and guilty thoughts, avoid others and feel helpless at a time where you feel you should be happy. A lot of women feel isolated whilst suffering from postnatal depression as they may feel that they are not coping. Counselling can help mothers explore their true feelings in a safe non-judgmental environment.

Depression:

Depression can affect the way we feel, the way we think and the way we behave. A vast majority of people may suffer from depression at some point in their lives. There is no single cause for depression however there is generally three main reasons.  The first being due to circumstance, for example, a  bereavement, the loss of a relationship or stress. The second being that the sufferer can be genetically pre disposed to depression and anxiety and thirdly the chemicals in our brain that control our mood are reduced. Whatever the cause depression can be hard to endure. Coupled with medication, therapy as an intervention is highly recommended to treat depression so that our emotions, thought patterns and behaviours at this time are explored.

Post- Traumatic Stress:

Trauma can affect us in many different ways, whether we have witnessed or been involved in a life threatening incident or whether we have experienced a traumatic event such as a death of a love one, a miscarriage, an operation or the end of a long term relationship, we may not only experience physical harm but also emotional harm. We may feel permanently changed by the impact of the trauma. The continuing physical and psychological reactions to trauma are known as traumatic stress responses, the symptoms may include flashbacks, intrusive recollections, sleep disturbance, mood swings, lack of concentration, panic attacks, avoidance of people and situations and drug or alcohol abuse. Therapy, especially cognitive behaviour therapy can help us overcome post- traumatic stress or trauma related issues by exploring thoughts, emotions and behaviours.


Weight Loss/ Unhealthy Eating Patterns:

Society promotes thinness and the perfect body image as a requirement for happiness and success. Many of us wish we could lose weight to feel accepted however so many of us find weight control very difficult to achieve and will generally try and fail at many different diets. The truth is food can be mind and mood altering for a lot of us. Food can be addictive,  we reach for food to comfort us. Like other addictions we can use food as a defence mechanism to try to eliminate emotional discomfort. If we look at the emotional discomfort and replaced it with healthier coping mechanism, we would be less inclined to pick up food and use it to sooth. Therapy is a good place to explore the feelings that lead us to use unhealthy eating patterns and replace them with healthier ways of coping.

Abuse:

Abuse can come in many forms including physical, emotional, sexual and neglect. Abuse  occurs when we are taken advantage of and disrespected by others. The impact of such abuse can be very traumatic and may leave us feeling depressed and anxious. Sometimes abuse is out of our control but sometimes we simply let people walk all over us and we have very little self- worth and no boundaries. If we continually let people abuse us we will always be the victim, we will always be in a place of suffering. Counselling can help with the trauma of abuse, can explore our patterns of abuse, look at our levels of self- worth, our communication styles and boundaries around others.

Family/ Child Related Issues:

We all love our children and our families but sometimes our relationships with our love ones are difficult. Whether you are worried about your children or have issues with your parents or other family members, whether you have problems relating to them and understanding them, maybe there is unresolved conflict.  Counselling can help explore the issues involved and the ways in which you relate to your family.


Anxiety:

A healthy amount of anxiety is crucial for our survival and well- being and the feeling of anxiety will help our body and mind to prepare for challenging and dangerous situations.  High levels of anxiety can become problematic especially when it is out of context or it is exaggerated.  The most common form of anxiety is GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder) which is a persistent  heightened feeling of anxiety which may cause physical and emotional discomfort.  Phobias, panic attacks and obsessive compulsive disorders are also associated with high levels of anxiety.  Counselling can help by addressing the patterns of thinking associated with the emotions and behaviours of the individuals.


Anger:

Everyone has feelings of anger and anger is a healthy emotion. We are always encouraged not to get angry, we are told by our parents very early on that it’s not ok to be angry but the truth is we all get angry sometimes. We usually feel angry when things don’t go our way, when we feel disrespected by others, or when we are stressed. So how do we express anger appropriately so that ourselves  and others are not harmed by our emotions? Therapy can help us identify our communication styles,  it can teach us to express our feelings appropriately by practising assertiveness, setting boundaries in relationships and anger management.


Co-Dependency:


The meaning of co- dependency is still unclear and the definition a difficult one to explain. We would describe ourselves as co- dependent when our mood is determined by the emotions of those around us. We put others feelings, emotions and well- being above our own even if it is at the risk to our own emotional health. Co- dependents are great people pleasers and will always put everyone else first however the co-dependent will eventually become resentful and angry. The co-dependent may enter dysfunctional relationships and will probably have very little self- worth and will suffer anxiety. Counselling   may help the co-dependent to identify patterns of behaviour relating to others, work on self- esteem and find healthy ways of asserting themselves.